Memory Monday

Beautiful Leah...

I'm not going to lie, this last week has been really hard in a lot of ways.
Thanksgiving 2011 was the last time we saw our daughter, the last time we hugged her, the last time we told her we loved her, and the last time all of our girls were together.   

I had a few breakdowns and shed a lot of tears while putting up this gold Christmas tree this year. I remember vividly what happened last year, 5 days after Thanksgiving. I had been putting up Christmas decorations all morning, had finally taken a shower and got dressed at about 1pm when I heard Allyn, sobbing as he rushed in the house to hold me and tell me that our precious Leah had just died. It was the worst moment of our lives. I didn't believe it. I screamed, but the tears wouldn't come. I could fill buckets with the tears I've shed since that day.
I remember thinking that I would never be able to be happy again. 

I have learned more in the last year and felt the love of our Savior more abundantly than I ever realized could even be possible. I am filled with gratitude and joy. I'm grateful for the wonderful memories, miracles, blessings and promises. I'm grateful for God's love, grace and mercy, that heals my broken heart and makes the sad days happy again. I'm grateful for our forever family and for amazing, thoughtful, dear friends.