December 14, 2011

Lee Lee

Since this blog is my journal, I need to write some of the things that have happened in the last two weeks...

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It was such a joy to have all of our family together for the first time in a long time. It was the first time that Ally had seen Leah since she got home from her mission.
There were lots of hugs, tears and laughter. Of course we took lots of pictures and my heart was so full and happy to have all of us together. I felt gratitude and love spilling over.

I remember saying, "Hey girls, lets take a picture with Papa Jack." Then I counted 1-2-3-4-5 and said, "Yep, we're all here..."  We ate, played games, did crafts with the kids, took turns riding the tandem bicycle and even watched Grampa Al fulfill his dream of riding a motorcycle. Leah was so fun and happy. I remember watching them sit around the table laughing and telling jokes. Leah had lots of plans and goals and was really excited about the future. We took our family picture by the Christmas tree and I remember that Leah said, "Oh shoot, I don't have any lip liner on." And I said, "You look beautiful just the way you are." And then I gave her a hug and had her stand right next to me.
 The last thing we said before she left later that night was, "Bye Lee Lee, We Love You..."

On November 29th at about 2pm Allyn came running into the house hysterical. He said, "Our Leah is gone." He had received a phone call while he was at work and he was told that our precious, beautiful Leah had just died. Neither of us believed it, and we rushed over to the house where she was. We were absolutely in shock and really just wanted to make it all be a big mistake. When we got there, our son in law Chad was already there. We just held each other and cried and begged the police who were already there to tell us it wasn't her. It was. We think that Leah died from an accidental prescription pill overdose, although the exact cause is still unclear. She had gone to the doctor on Monday and had just filled her prescriptions. Completely devastated, we watched as they took our daughter away.

From that moment on everything went into a big blur. We all came home to be together. We wept, cried, held each other and tried to wish it all away. Truly, I could hardly breathe. Family, friends, neighbors all came to offer comfort, help and anything they could. Prayers were said and tender blessings given. With out question we felt the love of the Lord lifting us and bringing us comfort and peace. I have come to understand in a way I never could have before, that the Savior suffered not only for our sins, but also for our pains, sorrows and heartaches. He is truly "The Prince of Peace" "The Savior of the World" and "The King of Kings." I love the Lord Jesus Christ and I know that it is through Him that we can live again and be families forever. I know that His grace, mercy and love is far greater and more magnificent than anything we can comprehend. I know that our Leah is spending Christmas with Him this year, and that knowledge brings me great comfort. I know we will see our Leah again and when that heavenly day comes, we will run to find her. Oh, how we miss her.


Allison Barnes said...

What a tender mercy to have all your girls together on Thanksgiving! I am so glad you had your camera ready! Thank heavens you are a blogger and you were probably thinking about as blog post as you took them! We love you!

Jena said...

We love you!