Amber

Just the thought of writing these words have caused the floodgates of tears to flow again...  

Our oldest daughter Amber passed away September 2, 2013.

I thought that I knew heartache pretty well, for indeed our family has experienced a lot of tragedy and sadness in the last few years, but my heart has never known the sadness and heartache that we've experienced in the last few weeks. We are devastated and truly heartbroken. Our beautiful, kind, generous, funny, and joyful oldest daughter Amber has died. Never in my worst nightmare did I ever dream that we would bury two daughters and a beloved grandson. Grief and sorrow don't even begin to describe this heartbreak.

I loved Amber  from the moment I felt her kick, from the day she was born, from the first words she said, to every minute I was blessed to be her mother. I wish I had been a better mother. I pray she knows how much I love her, how much I've always loved her. Our lives will never be the same without her. Our lives will never be the same without our precious Leah. Our lives will never be the same without our angel Caleb. 

I miss them so much it hurts every minute of every day.

 The last words Amber said to me were, "Hi Mom, I'm not calling because I need anything, I just called to tell you I love you." And I said, "Oh, I love you too Amber..."

It does bring me peace and comfort to know that Amber and Leah are together, and that Caleb is giving them both big hugs and kisses while showing them the way. I know they are with God. I know that this life is not the end.  

My heart is more grateful that it has ever been to know Jesus Christ, to know He is my Savior, and to know that because of Him our family will be together again forever someday.

Thank you for all of your prayers, your love for our family. Your prayers are truly lifting us up.

 

I love this picture of Amber and her son, Kaden. He was the absolute joy of her life. 

She loved him more than words could ever express. 

 The last time all five of our girls were together... 

When the day comes, I will run to find you. I will cry tears of joy when we are all together again.