The Empty Chair

My heart hurts every time I walk by our big brown chair in the family room. It was the chair my mom always sat in whenever she was at our house. It's very empty. I miss my mom. I've missed her every day since last May when she passed away, but especially now...at Christmas. This is my very first Christmas ever without her. We did so much together. We shopped together, planned together, decorated together, wrapped packages together, cooked together, made lists together. She loved Christmas and always made it special for each and every one of us. She loved surprises and absolutely loved to make wishes come true. Her greatest joy was in giving and loving us. I miss my mom. I loved our shopping trips and lunch at Diamonds (Dillards was always Diamonds to her). When that little cafe closed, we would meet at the Fashion Show and soon it was lunch at Nordstrom's Cafe. In recent years she loved for me to stroll her around the mall in a wheel chair so she could see all the pretty decorations...we would pile all our packages on the arms of the chair and she would laugh at me trying to push her and all of our loot at the same time. I can still hear her laugh. She was always my first phone call on Christmas morning... and the kids could hardly wait until she and Papa Jack got here. When I saw their car coming out of the kitchen window I would yell, "Grami's here!" and everyone would get up and make sure everything was ready and that the pillow in her chair was set just right and that the footstool was ready and then they would run to help her in. My dad would sit right next to her and wait on her and dote on her all day. I loved to see her beautiful smile and hear her squeal as she would open her gifts...she would always say we did to much...when it was always Grami who spoiled each and every one of us.
I miss my mom.
I know that we are so lucky and so blessed to have had her with us for as long as we did...
and I know that death is part of this experience called earth life...
It's just that the separation is so much harder than I ever knew it would be...until now.
I do feel the wonderful peace the Savior brings and I am and will be eternally grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the knowledge that we will be together again...right now, this Christmas, I just really miss her.

This is part of a poem called My First Christmas in Heaven that my Aunt LaRae sent us...I can hear my mom's voice when I read it.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not so far away. We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones. You know I hold you dear,
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is the gift, more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as our Father said to do,
For I can't count the blessings or love He has for each of you.
So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

So, this year I will hold tight to the memories and be grateful that I have so many. I will try my best to share the joy and love that for so many years Mom gave to us. I will remember the reason for the season.
I will praise God and I will worship Jesus Christ.

This year, my first call Christmas morning will be to my wonderful dad...and we will get that big brown chair ready for him. We will all shed a few tears I am certain...and then we will all smile as we feel Mom's love and the love of our beloved Savior surround us...for He is the reason we will be a family forever.










I love you, my beautiful Mom...I miss you.